Thursday, February 24, 2005

Cancer and Trust

Yesterday I spent a good part of the day at the Dental Clinic of Sloan Kettering. Recently they have discovered a correlation between one of the drugs I take and a collapse of the jaw structure. A few times now, I have opted to risk this danger so that some work could be done. Nothing has happened to me, but I can tell that the doctors are worried about each case. All this leads me to realize once again the role of trust. I need to trust the knowledge and skill of all the medical people who are so terrific to me and so many other cancer patients. Beyond my trust in medicine, I renew my trust in God which is the basis of all faith. Surely there are moments when I find myself hedging that trust and then am brought up short by encountering someone over which I have absolutely no control. And then I always have the same choice: either to keep banging up against that desire for control, or to express again my trust that God is true to his word and that he is always the source of all love and caring.